Murphy's Teaching Laws
Murphy Laws Site - Teaching Laws
Time for a few chuckles at some obvious truisms...
Murphy's teaching laws
- The clock in the instructor's room will be wrong.
- Disaster will occur when visitors are in the room.
- A subject interesting to the teacher will bore students.
- The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students.
- A meeting's length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker produces.
- Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.
- The problem child will be a school board member's son.
- When the instructor is late, he will meet the principal in the hall.
- If the instructor is late and does not meet the principal, the instructor is late to the faculty meeting.
- New students come from schools that do not teach anything.
- Good students move away.
- When speaking to the school psychologist, the teacher will say: "weirdo" rather than "emotionally disturbed".
- The school board will make a better pay offer before the teacher's union negotiates.
- The instructor's study hall be the largest in several years.
- The administration will view the study hall as the teacher's preparation time.
- Clocks will run more quickly during free time.
- On a test day, at least 15% of the class will be absent
- If the instructor teaches art, the principal will be an ex-coach and will dislike art. If the instructor is a coach, the principal will be an ex-coach who took a winning team to the state.
- Murphy's Law ill go into effect at the beginning of an evaluation.
- Weiner's Law of Libraries
There are no answers, only cross references.
- Laws of Class Scheduling
- If the course you wanted most has room for "n" students, you will be the "n+1" to apply.
- Class schedules are designed so that every student will waste maximum time between classes.
Corollary: When you are occasionally able to schedule two classes in a row, they will be held in classrooms at opposite ends of the campus.
- A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the semester following the desired course.
- Laws of Applied Terror
- When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible.
- The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want
- Eighty percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed about the one book you didn't read.
- The night before the English history midterm, your Biology instructor will assign two hundred pages on planarian.
Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
- If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Corollary: If you are given a take home exam, you will forget where you live.
Corollary: If the test is online, you will forget your password
The last corollary was sent by Feenyx
- At the end of the semester you will recall having enrolled in a course at the beginning of the semester--and never attending.
- First Law of Final Exams
Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.
Corollary: If you bring extra batteries, they will be defective.
- Second Law of Final Exams
In your toughest final, the most distractingly attractive student in class will sit next to you for the first time.
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